Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
