these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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