Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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