Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
