You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
drinking out of a sandbucket again
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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