I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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