dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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