I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there's paper in my vomit.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my sisters under your porch take her home
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
