i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
