We're like a lot better than the average bears
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
