she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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