in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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