Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
