I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
