I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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