speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
