DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
