She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
