Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
