i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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