I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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