I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
