WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize