It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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