In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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