she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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