playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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