there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
