I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
