Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
