Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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