Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
