zippers are such a cool invention
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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