do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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