Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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