I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The uberlube is also flammable
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.