Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
