Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I supernannyed him into submission
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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