i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
