youre lurking in front of me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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