Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Enjoy the penises
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
