We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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