I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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