How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
