I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
