Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
