so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
