are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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