did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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