i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the day after is always just damage control
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
