Don't you send me to vm
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There's always time for handjobs
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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