I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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