I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
