Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
