the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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