But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
