Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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