We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
