carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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